the sweetest taboo

I am gonna miss those times...

2007-07-30T00:22:00.000-07:00

lets focus on one thing...one of my angels....

left spore on the 28th of july 2007...to live in Abu Dhabi for 3 yrs....omg...i still cant believe it man....me,watie n seri went to send her off...met her family n all....we took a lot of pictures...a lot of hugging goin on...a lot of tears...her mum...she looked so sad to c her daughter leave...a very2 touching moment..we waved goodbye to her at the departure hall till she's out of sight....hope she's doin fine out there....i'll put the pics afta i receive from seri...

2007-04-09T02:47:00.000-07:00

being involved in relationships always brings more heart pain than joy....dats wat i think...
being treated like shit....i hate that....
i'll update dat later....
now i wanna update my holidays...i went phuket!!!!!
it was soo fun there...except for tsunami of course....
i'll update the pics later oso....

2007-02-17T22:39:00.000-08:00

Happy b-lated bdae to my dearest diana...even though i wished her on the day itself....she must be enjoying herself soo much until she reply me the next day at 6pm....wake up late uh diana..? hhaha...wish u the best in life n to ur future....whoa...21yrs oreadi uh.....
hahaha....as for the CNY....
im spending my time at work....even now...hahaha...boss not in shop wat...so can blog for all i care....hehehek.....gaji confirm boom...
woo....but....still hav to pay for the fuckin saman....
screw u joe phua.....NEA ppl suckers....u screw the bloody $200 out of my bloody wallet.....
as the offence says,"You DID throw a ********* butt in front of Takashimaya Shopping Centre....bla...bla...." u suck ppl blood lah i tell u......
Damn u ppl.....its partly my fault oso....but...haiya.....dustbin just behind us....
wat the hell......btw...happy lunar new year....year of the babi....:)

2007-01-16T14:42:00.000-08:00

I received news yesterday when i was working and i cant believe it...its from my colleague....its hard to explain and i cant describe how i feel about it...it's making me soo confused and i cant stop thingking about it at all....every minute and every second of it's always on my mind...haish...tell me how...tell me how...what should i do...but nvmind....i think i'll hav to figure it out by myself...i guess it's all up to me if i wanna do it or not....it really sucks to be me...one problem gone...another comes just when im about to settle down and be happy....but i also cannot understand the whole thing itself...one minute it's this...another minute it's that....i hate fickle minded ppl...they piss me off every time....cant help it...fuckers....

2007-01-10T15:57:00.000-08:00

Learn to control my temper...

Things i always do:
-make fun of people
-hit, push, shove, hold or threaten to do so
-stand up and yell(my fav)
-make faces,attack the other's personality
-say "forget it", "i don't care", "so what" or anything that irritates the other
-ALWAYS interrupt

wat do u think abt it? im beginning to feel that im always angry....pissed off....and i can't seem to control my temper man....i'in always tell me to control ur temper....control ur temper....
haish....it's difficult....its just yesterday i was too angry abt some stuff i hit my refrigerator....wat the hell....my mum saw it but she could'nt say anything....she knows when im angry...it means i am...and it takes time to cool down.....maybe it's that im too tired....not enough sleep.....no time for myself...it really sucks to be me....then i hav no other things to say....and im still angry till now....and i've just heard news to make me even more angrier....aaarrrrgggghhhhh.....damn....

HELLO 2007!!!!!!

2007-01-08T23:17:00.000-08:00

im back ...im back to blogging man....hahaha....
since the holidays....i've been slacking here and there....
been sick like hell too....and working like hell too....
im such a workaholic man.....cant help it....
found sumbdy who i cn share my life with....
great person....great personality.....
can get along well with him....yeah....helped me out in times of need...
but only trust is what i need.....real trust.......
its kinda hard to regain trust....if u noe wat i mean.....
but im happy now....living life the way i want it now......for now.....
i might never noe what will happen in the near future....

2006-11-29T23:30:00.000-08:00

i have got nuthin more to say man.....everything's goin fine after the incident happened....it's only that im a bit lonely...as u noe....havin a person to talk to u always....who knows u well...hmm..i guess i hav to find anthr good frend to talk to.....im bored...basically....my frends are limited u noe....im bored.....bored.....im hating school man....has no meaning.....i've been receiving text msgs from my teachers...telling me not to be so SLACK..it's already my last term n bla...bla....bla....reminding me of my sch fees....reminding me that my exams r cuming....fuck u man.....i know wat to do.....stop pushing me around like you're my MOTHER...!!!!! well...u r not my mother.....i hate sch...i hate sch.....get me outta this....i've been bombarded by my teacher.....she said "nisa.....u last time very good...everyday come to class..now u very bad....never c u in class oreadi...!" i wish i culd look at her in her eyes.....lift my MIDDLE FINGER and say..."FUCK U TEACHER!!! IT'S ALL BCOZ OF U I DID'NT GO FOR UR CLASSES!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!"......but...i did'nt do it of course.....if i were to do it...i would end up in the general office of course....my my parents would hav to cum down n fetch me...hehe....wat the hell...me n my weird imaginations.....nobody understands me....except for my angels of course....luv them....and it's only left with me who is unattached...hah...the other 3 r already in love....bluueekk....love...heh....love...huh.....wat is love exactly...wat does it mean....how do u show love for each other.....i only feel love from....my family of course.....sedih kan....hmmm......haiya.....hidup pn susah....mau mati pn susah.....isk...isk...choy2....

2006-11-22T16:33:00.000-08:00

i dunno how to start...

there's soo much things going inside my mind...

only god can help me....

i pray hard....really.....

i guess i just leave it to the people who noes wats goin on in my life right now...

i think that everythin's gonna be okay in the end....

i believe in one thing....KARMA....

as long as u're still alive...karma is always there....

and i wanna say a big FUCK YOU to this particular person that exsist in this world...

that person....haiz....i hav no comments abt him.....

you're old enough to think what is good and what is bad.....

n i leave it as that....

now..im picking up the pieces of my life...

fixing it all up....im lucky i did'nt go crazy...

haha...im still the chillgerl u guys noe...

i may look really stupid,blur & shit...as some ppl think...

but im none of those..take that in mind..

i dun care what other ppl think abt me..what i noe is that im a simple person..

and i will always be...

i love all of my siblings....no matter what happens..

im sure at god's will...we'll still stick together....

i would never want to disappoint my mum & dad...

i love them DEARLY too...

i hav learnt a very valuable lesson....n i hope that abby will too...

2006-11-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

im very2 stressed up....i cant talk abt this over here....dangerous man.....
only those whom r close to me will noe the problem im facing now......
im sad...im mostly angry...disappointed.....CONFUSED....!!!!
mungkin ada hikmah nye disebalik ini semua.....
mcmane boleh jadi begini....i feel sooo sad.....
the only persons who love me now are my mum...my dad.....n tuhan...
i pray hard to u....help me find peace in me....please....

2006-11-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

its been a few days since he's called me....

i wonder y....

i think i remember...

he's watching the 22 episodes of 'prison break' dat he went to burn at his frend's hse....

not only that...he's a freak of that series....

i wonder wats good abt it...

mayb i shuld try to watch it...

but i kinda miss him too...

oh man...i shuld really forget abt him man.....

try man...try....

2006-11-13T00:09:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking...

it's hard for me to forget him...

i think i'm so used to having him around me most of the time....

but i hate the process of making new friends...

i'm not tellin him dat i've made a new guy friend...

he'll go bonkers...

dat's wat i dun understand abt him....

he will say dat im flirting around...

but...im nt with him....

we're juz friends...!!!

wat's wrong with you man...?

out of your mind...?

but we'll see how it goes....

grow up man.....

dun behave like a kid...moron....

i mean it....

dun try to play shit with me.....

i can be bad.....

try me....

2006-11-08T22:56:00.000-08:00

if u've read my post abt me saying i wanna halau the ppl from my dad's side...HAA...i didnt...whack eh...ckp je...tapi tk buat...ape je aku...padan muka aku....

hmm... i duno y...but he's been like nice to me...is it me or its just him...he's being like concerned...protective abt me..wtf man....hehek...who cares man..he's just my fling...u hear dat?!u r just my fling....!!!!

but nvm lah....as long as he's happy....

he's now calling me here and then....i find it irritating at times....

but sometimes i need it when im lonely....

and now...im widening my circle of friends....

ahem...actually guy frends uh...

but i hate the whole process man...

all this intro thingy.........!

ooohhhh.......weeeeeeee......

2006-10-30T16:40:00.000-08:00

its been a long time since i've updated anithin here...xcept for changing skins ...

its a vrey tiring thing....u need to do this...do that....my hari raya with my mum's side is much more fun than my dad's side...in fact it's fucked up....i hate goin to their houses....i tell u...MacDonalds can give me much better service than the one i get at this particular house dat i went at Bukit Panjang...(dat fuckin Bangkit Rd..)...they juz serve drinks and off they go...dun even talk to us...i mean...r u guys damn MUTES?! i dun undstand dis man...its 2006...even mutes noe how to use hand languages if they cant speak....WTF???!!! i dun think they want ppl to noe dat they're mutes...dats y...phatetic people...motherfuckers....anyway im sick of looking at their faces....so they mite as well... FUCK OFF!!! dun u ever cum to my house again!!!! kau dtg....kau try la...aku halau korg nant....peduli ape aku....skg aku da tk baik lagi...da JAHAT!!! as for my dear cuzins frm my mum's side...whoa...i say....HAPPENING!!!!! hehek....hari2 dtg ruma pn aku tk kisah....slpover? no prob man....!dorg lagi mesra...tapi kn...raya sana..raya sini...i bloody need to look 4 a job man...! duit raya da tk leh expect lagi....maklum lah...semua da besar2 kn.....hmm...tu la dia...

psl boyfrend2 ni semua....i wanna put it aside first....i must study hard like hell man...my goals need to be achieved....marriage is not on my list of course.....hahak....i wanna be a career woman...actually...being single is much more fun than being attached....but u must hav a lot of flings to go by uh....but dun get trapped....look for the rich ones...haha...evil me....

2006-09-05T23:18:00.000-07:00

fought wit "E" again ystrdae....abt a guy...we dun hav anithin to do with each othr wat...im nt ur GF wat...why do u hav to get so worked up "E"...??!! i dun even talk 2 dat guy animore...i dun want 2 also...im nt gnna lose this fight/war okay...!! if u wanna win....i wanna WIN too....damn u...u discriminate me like fuck....hw can i let u win...asshole...motherfucker....i'll juz wait n see...u're gonna disappear again rite...well..i'm gnna do the same thing too...lets see who's msg and calling who first....!! hrmph....i'll go out with as many guys as i want...!!! n i dun wanna care abt u...its always abt u isn't it? now i'll make sure dat's its gnna be all abt ME!!! really uh...guys are fucking egos...!!! call me a liar....u're even a bigger liar than me...dun u tink im bloody stupid enuf to b with u...i've known stuff abt u....!! from ur own NS bunkmate okay....!!!!

2006-09-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

PROJECTS SUCK LIKE HELL!!!!

hate projects...!!!!!

help me!!!!!

i never sleep for dunno hw many days oreadi...!!!!

remember that!!!

2006-08-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

i wish dat i can play my Xbox for 1 whole day w/out stpping...

w/out anybdy disturbing me...but i gt no tv at the moment...!!!

kakak....!!! buy for me a tv set...and i want a big one too...!!

flat screen okay...!!! i dun want those old skool tvs....they suck...

if cn uh....hdtv...?must stick at my bedroom wall okay...!!

ahahaa....i tink ure gonna scream at me rite...

i dun care....i want u to buy me a notebook for my bdae....

buy me a Gucci bag...buy me good food everyday...

ure the best sister ive ever had....

simply adore her.....make sure ok kakak...?!

hahaha...spoilt brat...

2006-08-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

i hav been thinkin & thinkin.....wat kind of job shuld i take up...?

this feeling sux man.....i hav 2 go job hunting man...but how...?

im schling in e morn....f&b has the mst flexible hours....yeah...

but i dun want 2 hav long travelling to wrk....

time is precious...money is too rite...

i hardly hav time 4 myself....

my parents will scold me for sure....

i hav been skipping a lot lessons lately.....

im sure to get a letter frm sch...abt attendance..AGAIN!!!!

i dun tink i hav 2 pay 4 e saman ler...

scared me like hell...kept me thinkin how am i supposed 2 find e money....

wahaha...silly me...n btw...

to the guy who has shattered my heart to bits..

u really suck..u fucking asshole...MORON...!!

anyway...ure juz my fling...u cum n u go...

no time 2 care for all this...

Wat's the use of CRYING anyway.....?!

ahaha....juz think positive....

2006-08-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

i'm hatin guys...they're such motherfuckers...

specially to dis guy dat i noe for quite some time...he's soo sickening...

i've oreadi had enuf of all this...arrrgggghhh...dunno hw true he is...

well...they're just big liars...big-time liars...

liars are all i cn say...im hating it soo much...

hate it...fuck...fuck...i hate it...i hate it....

i hate it....hate it...hate it...hate it...hate it...

soo much for my happy ending...

2006-07-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

Everything has turned back to normal...!!!

but i still hav to b cautious...

we havent talked for like a total month...

not a single phone call or a single msg from him...

but i just waited....knew dat one day he wuld talk to me...

patience is the key ladies...haha..as if uh...

i oreadi exploded lots of times...w/out him knowing...

hahaha...whack...real whack...

im juz too happy dat we're back as normal...hehex...

where r u???

2006-06-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

i've been wondering...

and wondering...

where r u darling...?wats keepin u soo quiet all this while...?

still angry with me...?juz wat cn i do 2 make u happy n smile to me again..?

i had too many sleepless nights...can't take it anymore...

im dying here....sombody save me frm this madness...!

nobdy to complain to...nobdy to hear me out....nobdy to complain when i'm sick especially...nobdy to share abt wat happens at wrk...(u're the only one i cn talk to abt wrk..)

feel like quitting my job...

hav to look 4 a new one...

a better one..bt i'm gonna miss those guys...

its the last day of sch 2dae...time to hav a real break for bloody 3 weeks...

i wanna go out wif him....i miss u soo much....!

i wanna spend time with u....

feel like hugging u..cuddling u tightly...

i miss ur bike too...when cn take a ride again...?

or am i juz wasting time waiting 4 u...or u hav anthr girl oreadi...?

man...i feel sick thinking abt dis thing...really making me sick & mad...

am i being such a pessimist....or shuld i be one...?maybe....c u afta my hols...

i'll update more then....

i'm sick of life...

2006-06-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

yo peeps....

im feeling soo damn sick....

at least my frends and family care....

but not dat sumbody...

sick of life....

sick of relationships....

cant sleep yeaterday thinking of dat...

wat the hell....

to shit with u lah...

i've gotta work really hard to get money to pay dat fine...

does'nt matter wether im sick or not...

i hav to work hard to sve up the money...

fuck all this things dat has been happening to me....

feel like drinking...hehehehe....

2006-06-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

A very big "fuck you" to those who called to order on father's day....u fuckin guys jammed up all the phone lines....nearly killed us....caused one of our riders to get in an accident(kesian dia...)...wat the hell man...?! and i bloody worked like hell...with no break at all...for 4 hours straight...shit u guys...n there's dis malay guy who called & asked if there's any father's day promotion..i said no..his mum shouted frm behind..sayin.."KENTAL LAH!!!"the son den asked me if im malay...i said yes...then he went to tell his mom dat i heard wat she shouted...she said..."malay..?So WAT?!!"...i repeated again to him that we don't hav any father's day promotion in a stern voice.. i feel like dissing and fuck her on the phone man...im juz a freakin worker...im not the boss...so i won't know y there's no other promotion...juz eat ur fucking food and shut ur ASS up..!! hahaha....too bad you have to wait for A fucking an hour an a half to receive ur food....starve to death u ASSHOLE...!!!

Why cant guys be dis n dat..?

2006-06-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

why juz can't guys be extra loving nowadays...? or izzit juz girls dat abuse the trust..?

im experiencing the pain right now...it's givin me a Hell of a time...

found out frm eli dat he went to M.O.S wif his NS frends yesterday..

shuld be enjoying himself wif da gals there...drink till he's drunk..

watch world cup there...wat the hell...

cant u juz inform me beforehand..?

im ur f**kin gf for goodness sake...

haiz.....

it's not fair at all man...

i dun even go to the extent like goin clubbin...

u're not fuckin single...if u are...i won't fuckin care...i won't giv a hoot 'bout u...

ure fuckin attached....

n u're not even tellin me bout ur whereabouts....

why...?why...?why darling...?

is dis whole thing goin nowhere...?

am i juz clinging on to u when u jz dun care bout anithin..?

tell me man....

If Ur in Love...

2006-06-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on him.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
about you and how lucky he is to have you.

Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

2006-06-12T02:15:00.000-07:00

My weekend is damn lousy....n i feel lousy too...damn lousy....having a bf oso no use...juz too annoying...
wat the hell...received two letters frm the school...abt attendance n abt dat FUCKIN saman...
wrk was hell....nobdy to chill with afta wrk....when is this gonna end....? my elder sis is my only frend....
phatetic me...F**K....couldn't make it to Mas's bro engagement...sorry girl...wish i culd cum....
i dun even hav the mood to type dis whole DAMN post....im carrying on typing juz for the sake of typing...
WATEVER MORON...!! hah....wat am i thinking...? did'nt study for my test...waaaaaahhhh.....it's driving me crazy....did'nt hav enuf sleep....ZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzz......

2006-06-07T00:16:00.000-07:00

I got caught on this stupid fucking date....

06/06/06....

Wat the HELL!!!!

Angels...u shuld noe wat i'm talking abt...

A fine of a FUCKING $200.....

FUCK all the first years...

hate u guys sooo much...

to the disclipline dept of dis fuckin sch...

FUCK U GUYS....

2006-06-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

me & my angels went out 2 celebrate watie's advanced bdae on fridae(2/6/06)...but we pretended the whole outing to b a casual one...so watie did'nt suspect a thing...hahaha...gotcha...!!me n mas went shopping 4 shoes...went into charles&keith...we're like "mane satu nk beli ni??!! ada byk lawa2!!" in the end, both of us came out of the shop smiling & carrying paperbags...hahak!!actually..kakak tiri nv approved of us goin shopping 4 shoes...love her soo much...she gave up at last..heeheehee...jeng3...reached Lido McCafe...me n mas went to buy drinks & oso bought her a mini bdae cake(a slice of Oreo Cheesecake)...i was like hiding the cake under the table...bet the other ppl who saw wat i was doin was thinking like "why the hell is dis girl keeping the damn cake under the table?" it was quite some time when mas signalled me to bring out the cake...we screamed "HAPPY BDAE!!!" everybdy over there was watching us...but we dun giv a SHIT rite gals..?watie was almost in tears...i love dat feeling....evrybdy was happy...we hugged each other....LOVE DAT MOMENT ANGELS!!!! ahahaha...can't 4get dat...we took a whole load of pictures of ourselves....vain girls....ahaha...but nvmind..as long as we're happy...woo hoo...!!

2006-06-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

By Your Side

you think i'd leave your side baby

you know me better than that

you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees

i wouldn't do that i'll tell you you're right when you want

and if only you could see into me

ha ah ah ah ah ah

oh when you're cold

i'll be there hold you tight to me

when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in

i will show you you're so much better than you know

when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again

i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry

i am here to dry your eyes

and in no time you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby

you know me better than that

you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees

i wouldn't do that i'll tell you you're right when you want

and if only you could see into me

ha ah ah ah ah ah

oh when you're cold

i'll be there hold you tight to me

when you're low

i'll be there by your side baby

oh when you're cold

i'll be there hold you tight to me

oh when you're low

i'll be there by your side baby

2006-06-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

hey guys...im still new to this n i'm tryin my best 2 master it..hahak...to Mas n Watie...congratulate me for cummin into the blogging club...now i noe hw frustrating doin a blog can be...padan muka aku..waahaa..can't believe dat we're in our 2nd yr...n we're graduating nex yr...!wee...!now is blogging as usual during lessons...hahaha... my life has improved to be a bit better....i've forgotten the bitter past dat has happened..juz not my luck..my gals...if u're reading dis..(u shuld noe wat i mean)...even though...everything has not ended yet...anyways..why r guys so egoistic..? can sumbdy tell me...im so freakin pissed wit edy....he's gettin on my nerves every single day...i dunno wat he's doin now or where he is now...out wit some othr girl?or simply juz ignoring me? he can be such an ignorant person...i hate dat the most...it's like as if he does'nt giv a shit abt dis whole thingy....F**K....! and wat the hell!! he did'nt even call or msg me for a week straight....met him at wrk n he told me that he's givin me ample time to talk to my ex till i'm satisfied...the first thing dat went into my mind was "Jealousy...! Jealousy...!" kau tau pn mcm mane sakit nye hati aku...but...the heartpain dat i got from him was when he went to KL wit his frends on labour day...including 6 girls dat his frends brought along...n they r sharing the same hotel room....u tell me wat i shuld do?! i was feelin soo fucked up with him...tink u shuld noe wat will happen when guys n girls r in the same room...n when he came back...he looked soo worn out n complained to me dat he's tired...i was like "kau pnye PASAL LAH!!!"...but i did'nt tell him dat of course...looking at him like dat is soo pitiful...but i kept thinking like wat did he do over there until he looked soo worn out? clubbing at KL...?enjoying all the night life over there with the girls...?or i shuld say the bitches??arrrgh....wat the hell....and i found out dat he did'nt slp for the whole 2 days....i felt like i wanted to pull his hair n scream at him...but...i did'nt...heh...i simply ignored him for a few days...he knew dat i was frustrated wit him but he did'nt do anithin...geramnye....tk uat pape pn....isk2...sakit hati siul...but i'm all this back...think dat retribution is gettin back at me...help...help...=(....haiz...i msg him a lot of times...apologising to him...n WAT DO I GET?? NOTHING!!! S**T him....tapi...marah2 pn....heh...u noe lah.....

2006-05-24T19:56:00.000-07:00

i feel useless....what the hell....i shuld enjoy more...dun tink too much abt other stuff.....life is soo unfair....it's great to hav my frens when i'm feelin down...love my ANGELS soo much....he's bugging me every moment in my life....but...i can just wait n see...how long is he gonna be sooo cruel n wicked to me....dat is juz not on my list....dats oso not the way how u treat a gf....such a MOTHER FUCKER....but i ain't gonna giv up....i'm gonna face all this...as my frend ruby always told me..."i really admire ur patience nisa...i really do...."....ahaha...wat the hell....